PAINT WITH WORDS

Marriage.

It takes place, traditionally and idealistically, when two people, preferably (same sex marriage is accepted in some parts of the world) a male and female, face the altar and start to live happily ever after (well, I suppose so).

Virginity.

Women, for centuries, are bound to chastity and celibacy until marriage. It is an anatomical and a physiological state characterized by not having sexual intercourse and masturbation, for that matter.

Marriage and virginity.

Or is it virginity and marriage?

Two short simple words.

Two simply interrelated terms.

Two contested concepts.

During the olden times (how olden is olden when classifying history?), women are expected and obliged to keep their virginity intact until their marriage. Marriage, during those times is seen as a very sacred ceremony that involves two people (take note, I didn’t say two people in love), two people in that they may be or may not be in love. Two people directly involved in an arranged marriage—two people, a man and a woman. If marriage was (I don’t think it is still the case now) seen as a very sacred ceremony, virginity on the other hand was (again, not the case now) seen as a virtue of chastity—a characteristic of the perfect and ideal woman. Men, still in those days, prefer virgin women than those with sexual experiences. If there were non-virgin women in those times, it implies that there were also non-virgin men but the pressure on women is way, by trillion miles heavier than those of men’s (I don’t even think that pressure is or was ever imposed on men). And if there were non-virgin women, is virginity a prerequisite or a requisite for marriage?

Nowadays, virginity and marriage are still interrelated concepts but both terms (the way I see it) are underrated in that ladies and gentlemen of all ages are drawn to abuse the sanctity of both concepts. Marriage for that matter is seen as merely a piece of paper that can be voided by another piece of paper (annulment, legal separation and divorce). Marriage is no longer a sacred ceremony that must be respected by everyone. What defines marriage now is a long roll of wedding carpet embedded on the long center aisle of the Saint Peter’s Basilica, with emeralds, diamonds and other precious stones engraved in a pair of ring, highlighted by classy gowns paired with expensive sexy heels, to be followed by a reception at the Hampton’s. That is marriage in the 21sty century. Virginity on the other hand is nothing but a belief, a tradition (lousy in that), and a custom that doesn’t require to be followed. Being a non-virgin is not seen as a violation in any constitution in any political system. Some people treat virginity as a piece of cake, ready to be spoiled anytime if you don’t eat it right away. Since some women of the 21st century do not see virginity as a prerequisite or requisite for getting married, marriage is never a goal for some women of the 21st century (not generalizing)—it is merely a something, not an event because events wouldn’t be called events for nothing, a something that isn’t anticipated by some women.

I am seventeen years, ten months and counting. I wonder where I would rather be in. In the early days when marriage is sacred, virginity is an unwritten law and women’s liberty is low? Or in the modern days where marriage is an A sized bond paper, virginity is a food that must be eaten right away and traditions, virtues, cultures and customs are at stake?

How about you? Where do you think you would rather be in?

I am seventeen years, ten months old, counting and functioning. You are reading, pondering, reflecting and thinking.

P.S. In all terms, I didn’t generalize. Assumptions are in effect.